G-2LCWV30QZ8 The Mirror Is Lying: How Social Media Warps Your Self-Worth - TonyTidbit: A Black Executive Perspective
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Episode 230

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Published on:

15th Apr 2025

The Mirror Is Lying: How Social Media Warps Your Self-Worth

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Episode Audio Link: https://podcast.ablackexec.com/episode/The Mirror Is Lying: How Social Media Warps Your Self-Worth

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In this thought-provoking episode of 'A Black Executive Perspective', host Tony Tidbit is joined by Brad Bowling, President of CODE M Magazine, to discuss the detrimental effects of self-isolation on mental health. They dive into the Looking Glass Self Theory, exploring how others and the impact of social media on our perceptions of ourselves influence self-image. The conversation touches on topics such as loneliness, touch starvation, the role of race, and how the pandemic has exacerbated these issues. They also offer practical advice on combating self-isolation and building healthier self-esteem, emphasizing the importance of human connection and self-kindness. A must-watch for anyone seeking to understand and improve their mental health in today's digitally driven world.


▶︎ In This Episode

00:00: The Dangers of Self-Isolation

00:31: Introduction to the Podcast

01:12: Importance of Self-Image

01:47: Interview with Brad Bowling

04:33: Exploring the Looking Glass Self Theory

09:02: Impact of Social Media on Self-Perception

25:09: Touch Starvation and Its Effects

32:32: Personality Types and Social Interaction

34:24: Awareness and Self-Isolation

36:01: Impact of Social Media and Dating Apps

43:19: Reconnecting and Social Engagement

51:47: Final Thoughts and Call to Action

🔗 Resources

Links and resources mentioned in this episode:


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Transcript
Brad Bowling:

I, I could go five, six days with no human interaction.

2

:

It is so detrimental because

self-isolation causes depression.

3

:

Loneliness, you don't

have a sense of touch.

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You're not interacting with

people intimately, meaning

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:

you're not in somebody's face.

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:

You're not.

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:

I.

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:

Hey John, here's a

handshake, here's a hug.

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This is a problem.

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:

And a lot of people don't know.

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:

Once they self isolate, they go

down a rabbit hole of self-isolation

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:

and it creates a problem.

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And by the time they figure out they have

a problem, it might be too late for 'em.

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We'll

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Tony Tidbit: discuss race and how it

plays a factor and how we didn't even talk

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:

about this topic 'cause we were afraid.

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A black executive

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BEP Narrator: perspective,

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Tony Tidbit: we are coming to you live

from the new BEP studio for another

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thought-provoking episode of A A

Black Executive Perspective podcast.

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I'm your host, Tony Tidbit.

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:

So before we get started, new Year.

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But guess what?

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We still want you to follow our partners.

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Don't forget to check them out.

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Code M Magazine, whose mission

is saving the black family by

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first saving the black man?

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Check them out @codemmagazine.com.

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That is code m magazine.com.

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So you know, one of the

things when I was growing up.

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Self-image was a big thing as being a kid.

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You know, how people perceive me,

how I thought of myself, how I

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thought the world saw me was huge.

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My mother was a big proponent and,

uh, providing a lot of positive

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feedback to make sure that regardless

of how I felt or what I thought.

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I had a positive, uh, outlook in

terms of my self image and who I am.

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Well, unfortunately,

today that's not the case.

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So I'm joined today by Brad Bowling,

president of CODE M Magazine to

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discuss his thought provoking article.

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I.

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Looking glass self theory, we're

gonna examine its significance

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and are digitally driven and

increasingly disconnected world.

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We're gonna explore how self image

is influenced by others, the impact

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of social media isolation, and

the essential importance of human

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connection and self-kindness.

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Brag, boing, my brother.

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Welcome back to a A A Black

Executive Perspective podcast,

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Brad Bowling: Mr.

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Franklin.

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How are you sir?

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Happy New Year to you.

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Tony Tidbit: Happy New Year, man.

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I'm doing well.

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You know, look, I have a, you know,

every year I, you know, I'm no different.

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You probably do the same thing.

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We set goals 'cause you are very.

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You know, uh, a mission-focused

individual, you wouldn't be where

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you are if you didn't set goals.

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And I always have certain

words for the new year, right?

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Those words are the things

that supposed to remind me of

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what I'm trying to accomplish.

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So my logo, my, my phrase for 2025.

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Is strive and thrive.

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Mm-hmm.

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In 25.

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BEP Narrator: Okay.

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Tony Tidbit: Okay.

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So that's what I'm looking, excuse me.

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That's what I'm gonna do.

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But also I'm praying that all my

friends and partners and everyone

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is able to thrive and strive in 25.

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Brad Bowling: Let's go.

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Let's go.

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Mine is purpose and power, bro.

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Oh, I love that.

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Tony Tidbit: You know, so

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Brad Bowling: the purpose of the

magazine is to highlight and showcase

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black man doing incredible things,

but the power comes from the nonprofit

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that we're launching in 2025, so we can

touch people at a visceral local level.

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And so, uh, my, my goal this year

is to live in purpose and power.

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I.

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Tony Tidbit: Buddy.

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I love it.

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Here's the thing though.

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Not, don't.

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Not only do I love the words, I

love the way you said it, your

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Brad Bowling: conviction.

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Tony Tidbit: Right, right.

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Whoop power.

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Right.

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That's the thing.

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You speak it into existence.

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Brad Bowling: Yes, sir.

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Tony Tidbit: Okay.

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So I really love it.

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And guess what, I'm gonna add that

into my repertoire as well, right?

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No, you can't take it.

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That's mine.

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I'm not gonna take it.

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I said, oh, alright.

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I said bad.

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Right.

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Okay.

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I'm sorry.

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I'm sorry.

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I got my own words right.

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Oh, it's all good my brother.

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I ain't, no, I'm messing.

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I'm not.

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Take nothing from you.

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Brad Bowling: I'm messing with it.

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Tony Tidbit: No, it's all good, man.

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So look bro, you know, one of the

things that we did last year is, you

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know, we had you come on a few times.

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Your magazine is awesome.

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Obviously you're doing great

things in the community.

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People enjoy it.

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But a lot of the articles, not a lot,

but there's certain articles that

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you write that are off the script.

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That really touch and talk about

issues across the whole spectrum

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of human beings around the world.

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Right?

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BEP Narrator: Yeah.

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Tony Tidbit: And this is one of them.

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So I wanted to get an just from

you, man, why did you wanna come

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on and talk about this topic?

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The Looking Glass Self Theory.

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Brad Bowling: So, you know, the

pandemic brought a lot out of us

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that I don't think we knew we had.

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It was a lurking problem underneath

the surface of who we are as people.

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But I think the pandemic, the

pandemic exacerbated the problem.

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And so I wrote the article to kind of

address self-isolation and how people

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don't realize how taking a step back

from interacting with other people.

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Taking the conveniences that we

think are helping life are actually

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making life worse for certain people.

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We wanted to bring that to

people's attention, so if they

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do experience any issues with

loneliness, depression, suicidal

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thoughts, this could be the culprit.

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And we wanted to kind of identify

some solutions that they could use

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to overcome something that they

might have unintentionally created.

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Uh, for themselves.

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So I wanted to come on

and talk about that today.

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Tony Tidbit: Oh yeah, I, I, I love it.

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I love it.

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And so I'm excited to dive into this.

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I've read it multiple times.

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It's very thought provoking.

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There's a lot here.

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So you ready to talk about it?

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Let's go.

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Alright man.

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Let's talk about it.

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So, let's start off, you know me, man.

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One of the things I always want to

do is start off at the beginning,

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keep things simple, right?

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Because even I didn't know so.

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Can you talk a little bit about what

is the Looking Glass self theory?

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Brad Bowling: The Looking Glass

Self Theory, uh, was written or de

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developed by Charles Horton Wood,

uh, Charles Wooden Horton in:

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A sociologist who identified, uh,

the humans, uh, need to understand

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how we perceive ourselves.

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So the look and glass cell theory is

the concept that you derive who you are

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based on how others perceive you to be.

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And I know that sounds a little

complicated and it's wordy, but really we

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get, we, we get our self worth from how

we perceive others feel about us, right?

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And so it's very important

that we recognize how we

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perceive ourselves and how we.

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Use the world to perceive ourselves,

because right now the world's con

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conflicted, uh, and so our self perception

is conflicted as well, especially with

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the, with the invention of the internet.

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Tony Tidbit: Uh, buddy.

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So, so true.

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You know, when I was reading this,

obviously I was going back to my childhood

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because a lot of the things that you just

got finished talking about is developed.

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Um, in your childhood, right?

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Yes.

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Yes.

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And it's a different world today.

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So I wanna read an excerpt of

your article, um, and, and then I

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wanna dive into it further, right?

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So you are right here.

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The looking glass self theory

can affect self-esteem in either

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a negative or a positive way.

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For example, a person's self-esteem

may increase if they continuously

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believe others perceive them.

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In a positive manner.

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The looking, this has become a problem

in modern society because there is so

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much fake information on the internet.

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The false information coupled with

a lack of human contact can affect

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anyone who's vulnerable to public

perception as they might develop a

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negative attitude towards themselves.

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So talk a little, so, 'cause here's

the thing, I get the first part.

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Okay.

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As I kicked off the episode,

I, you, let's be fair here.

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Growing up the way we grew up.

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It was all about social contact and the

way you perceived yourself is exactly how

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you thought people looked at you, right?

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Correct, yes.

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How they interacted with you.

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Did they think you were handsome or ugly?

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Even though, even though it may not be

true what they thought, okay, you could

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have been the most handsomest person,

but if they're saying you are ugly.

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You would start it, then you

start to take that in, right?

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Yes.

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Vice versa.

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Right, right.

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And so if you were weight overweight

or skinny or, or whatever,

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if you were strong or weak.

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I remember, I don't, buddy.

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I remember back in the day and I used to

have these comic books and magazines and

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in every magazine they had the little, um.

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The little, uh, uh, article of the

dude getting kicks sand in the beach.

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Remember?

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Arch and comics?

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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And the dude would be laying

there and this big dude come

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and kicks sand in the face.

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Yeah.

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Right?

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And then he'd be like,

ah, you little weakling.

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And then he comes, he goes and

works out, and he comes back and

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then he, you know, he beats the

dude up and then takes his girl.

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Right?

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But so that perception, right?

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Yes, yes.

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I'm a weakling, this and that.

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Then I gotta do something to get better.

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But now.

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It's different because of social media.

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Speak to that a little bit, my brother.

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Brad Bowling: It, it's different because

you know, back when you and I were growing

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up, we got our information from the

local news and then the people around us.

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So our self-perception.

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Was based on our daily

interactions with people.

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We went out, we ventured

out, we went to school.

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You went to practice, you went to work.

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You know, you went to the playground

and you develop your self-awareness

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based on how others perceived

you, and then of course, how your

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social circle was around you.

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We were closer to family.

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We had parents around us,

we had siblings around us.

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We had cousins around us.

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Well, today you don't

have to have that, right?

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So you're on social media.

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If somebody says something you

don't like, you can delete them.

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Have you ever seen.

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You know the comments, Hey, anybody

that disagrees with my belief

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systems, I'm just gonna unfriend them.

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You know, hey, if you're a Republican

or Democrat and I don't like what

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you're saying, I'm gonna delete you.

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Brad Bowling: So our self-awareness has

become skewed because now you can go out

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and you can seek like-minded individuals.

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So now people don't have perspective.

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Right.

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The problem with that is if you don't

see a difference of opinion and you only

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see people who are around you, if I'm

fat, I can go to a fat support group.

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Now fat is okay.

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So, you know, the, the, the problem with

that is, and I know you're laughing, but

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you, you develop no coping skills and you

also don't develop a sense of awareness

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about yourself to improve yourself.

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Tony Tidbit: Right?

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Brad Bowling: So now you're saying

people not have to go seek improvement.

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And so, you know.

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There's so many problems with what

we have right now as a society.

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One, because you know, you got DoorDash,

you have Zoom, you have GrubHub.

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You don't have to go out and, you know,

internet banking, you literally don't have

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to leave your house if you don't want to.

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That lack of human interaction, the

false information that's spread on the

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internet, whether it's true or false, uh,

tends to create the kind of personality.

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That can get you in trouble and

lead to loneliness, isolation,

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and suicidal thoughts.

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Wow.

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And so it's a big problem that we

have to address, and that's what

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we're trying to do with the article.

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Tony Tidbit: No, that is number one.

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You're correct.

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Number two is a shame.

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Um, and then number three, just

hearing the effects because you,

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you are a hundred percent right.

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You know, one of the things

I was thinking about.

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As you were, you were chatting,

is that when I was a kid?

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Right?

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You, you hit it on the head.

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You're out.

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Um, and a lot of who you are was

not just shaped by your family,

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but shaped by your friends.

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Yes.

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A lot of things that you learned

that you may have thought you

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knew, but you learned from your

friends or they learned from you.

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Right.

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And then not only that, the

only perception in terms of

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what we would call beauty.

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Or success or failure would be

what we saw with individuals,

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with human beings, actual people.

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Very rarely we would take what we saw

in a magazine or something of that

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nature and say, oh, I wanna be this.

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Well, today with social media, Instagram,

Facebook, TikTok, you can name it.

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You have images of people.

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That there's no imperfections.

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Brad Bowling: Correct.

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Tony Tidbit: Okay.

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Brad Bowling: Yeah.

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Tony Tidbit: You have people.

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Uh, who, and this was, this

drives me crazy 'cause I've,

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I've seen it a million times.

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I've even chatted with people who, when

you talk to 'em one on one, they're

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telling you they're having problems

with their significant other, right?

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And they don't know if

they're gonna make it.

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And then the next day you look on

social media and there's a picture.

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And then, and the other person said, the

love of my life, I wouldn't know if I, I

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wouldn't be here if it wasn't for this.

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Person.

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Right.

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Everybody help me

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Brad Bowling: wish my boo happy birthday.

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Tony Tidbit: Yeah.

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And it's, they putting out

a perception that's not real

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based on what they've said.

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Right.

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But they want people to think it's real.

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Here's the other thing, I wanna read

this because this is also a key.

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In your article, it says, the looking

glass theory can hugely impact children.

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Children develop a perception of self, uh,

through interactions with other people.

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What we just got finished talking

about children would often take the

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feedback that they got from others

to develop their own concept of self.

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This frADDRA stage in development has

typically, typically protected the

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positive reinforcement of, of the parents.

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Brad Bowling: Yes.

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Tony Tidbit: However.

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The children gaining access to social

media earlier and earlier in life.

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They are susceptible to developing

negative feelings about themselves

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before they're able to differentiate

between their sense of self and other

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people's possible perceptions of them.

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Brad Bowling: Correct.

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Tony Tidbit: Talk a little

bit about that, my brother.

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Brad Bowling: So, you know, our

children are vulnerable because

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the internet is so powerful today.

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Right.

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And so experts, you know, there's a

debate on how soon you should let your

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child onto the internet because their

access to information, their access to

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content, uh, constructively, you know,

know, determine who they, how they

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perceive themselves based on the internet.

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You know, usually we used to get.

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Social acceptance through

interpersonal communication.

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Now people take a look at how many

life they get, and that helps them

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determine how they perceive themselves.

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So it's important for our

children to develop a sense of

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awareness, self-awareness first

before they get on the internet.

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Because once they get on the internet,

it's very difficult to control what

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they take in when they're by themselves.

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Right?

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So, you know, you're with your

phone, it's at nighttime, you should

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be in bed, but you're scrolling.

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Uh, a lot of your contact with, with the

in outside world come, the information

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comes from the news, comes from the

internet, uh, going viral information.

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You know, the tiktoks, the

all, all the different apps.

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And so it's very important that you slow

your child's access to the internet down

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as much as possible, so then you can

help them develop a sense of awareness.

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Because listen, Tony, once

they hit 10, 11 years old.

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It might be too late.

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They might have already decided who they

are, and that is so young to put that kind

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of pressure on a child, they haven't had

a chance to succeed, to fail, to know who

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they are, to know who they want to be.

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Uh, they haven't given, been

given time to experiment.

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You know, do I play football?

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Do I play the violin?

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You know, do I go for acting?

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Do I want to be an engineer?

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They don't have, they don't

have the time to develop a sense

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of awareness anymore, right?

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And so it's very, very important that

you delay your child's introduction into

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the internet for as long as possible.

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Tony Tidbit: You know, I think

the other thing though, too, is

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that they're not able to develop

a sense of what failure is.

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Okay, so in other words, you

know, a, a world has been

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created that everybody wins.

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Okay.

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A world's been created, that

everybody gets a trophy.

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A world has been created that, you

know, uh uh, and I don't wanna say

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you don't have to do your best,

but whatever you do is good enough.

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Okay.

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Right, right.

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:

And at the end of the day, you know,

as growing up with our friends and, you

393

:

know, we learned the difference between,

you dealt with failure all the time.

394

:

You playing, uh, football in the

streets, okay, that was your Super

395

:

Bowl playing baseball, being in class,

and the teacher says, what's this?

396

:

And blah, blah, blah.

397

:

But if you live in a world where

everything is coming to you and there's

398

:

no, uh, antithesis of that, right?

399

:

There's no feedback saying this is not

right, or, so it's hard to develop.

400

:

In terms of you only think of one

way, and if this way doesn't work,

401

:

then I'm no good, because that's the

only thing that you interact with

402

:

in when it comes to social media.

403

:

Let me ask you this.

404

:

When it comes to, is there any data

that has, you know, in terms of backing

405

:

up the Looking Glass theory in terms

of how children used to be prior.

406

:

The two thousands and then how

they're now when it comes to

407

:

self-esteem and how they're now, uh,

when they look at their self-esteem

408

:

in this digitally driven society.

409

:

Brad Bowling: Absolutely.

410

:

And so, you know, there was just a report,

and I don't wanna say this is recent.

411

:

I think this might have came out

either a last year or the year before,

412

:

but the number one health risk for

children under 16, especially girls.

413

:

Is the internet, it is more harm.

414

:

The internet is one of the most harmful

things to the development for a young

415

:

female for all kids, by the way.

416

:

But specifically young females because

they get a sense of self based on

417

:

the internet, beauty, how they should

behave, what should they wear, uh,

418

:

what should they be listening to.

419

:

You know, uh, unfortunately I have two

daughters and you know, women are so hard

420

:

on each other, not as hard as men are.

421

:

Men tend to develop hierarchies

in their social circles.

422

:

You know, if you walk into a

room of men, we're instantly

423

:

sizing each other up and down.

424

:

Correct?

425

:

Correct.

426

:

So you quickly find out who's the leader.

427

:

Who's the worker?

428

:

You know, uh, who should be at the bottom?

429

:

Who should be in the middle?

430

:

Uh, a lot of times men will

self-identify what roles they have.

431

:

Hey, I'm gonna work on the wood.

432

:

You go over here, you cut

this, I'm gonna build.

433

:

So men tend to find out through

their social circles, they hierarchy,

434

:

and we trust that hierarchy.

435

:

Right?

436

:

Hey, you know what?

437

:

I acknowledge that you

might be smarter than me.

438

:

You might be stronger than me.

439

:

I'm okay with that.

440

:

It doesn't make me less, it makes

me different, but it doesn't

441

:

make me less with young ladies.

442

:

There's combativeness, right?

443

:

So, you know, when, when young

boys play video games or they play

444

:

football or whatever, you get an

idea of who's good at what, and then

445

:

you, you, you work on those traits.

446

:

You also, you know, you can

take criticism, Hey, I need

447

:

to work on my throwing.

448

:

I need to work on dribbling.

449

:

I may need to work on my right

hand because I'm dominant.

450

:

Left hand playing basketball.

451

:

Girls when they play games.

452

:

They don't tend to look at that

and say, okay, here's a leader.

453

:

Here's the follower, here's

the winner, here's the loser.

454

:

If you take a look at girls, it's playing.

455

:

Do.

456

:

You know, uh, it's playing house, so

there's no social development in that.

457

:

A lot of times if you have

disagreements with females,

458

:

they just stop playing the game.

459

:

Men, we tend to say, okay, well

let's figure out what the solution

460

:

is to this and let's continue.

461

:

And so girls struggle with

the internet more than boys.

462

:

And so the data is out there

to support that The internet is

463

:

detrimental to young females.

464

:

Tony Tidbit: Wow.

465

:

Let me ask you this, you know, and,

and look, we went to the children.

466

:

Which makes total sense 'cause they're

the ones, you know, they're growing

467

:

up in the world and this is all,

especially a digitally driven world.

468

:

This is all they know.

469

:

Right.

470

:

However, talk a little bit

about the adults though, right?

471

:

That, that grew up like

we grew up alright.

472

:

That have self isolated, that have

used the, uh, the, the looking

473

:

glass theory is, is, uh, is, is they

have a negative connotation about

474

:

themselves too, based on social media.

475

:

Brad Bowling: Well, you know,

again, the pandemic has created

476

:

such a, a vicious cycle.

477

:

Uh, problems for us as, uh,

Americans and just humans in general.

478

:

Before the pandemic, I

think people ventured out.

479

:

They went around, they felt safe.

480

:

I.

481

:

Uh, they, they experimented

in social settings.

482

:

The world was just different.

483

:

Now, post pandemic, the

world is so different.

484

:

You know, you have zooms, people

are going to the office less.

485

:

Remember when you, when you went

to the office, you interacted.

486

:

Now we could all complain about that

Monday meeting where the manager talked

487

:

about our two kids that we hated.

488

:

You know what I mean?

489

:

Remember those mor Monday morning

meetings where it's like, I gotta sit

490

:

here and go over my sales projections

again in front of 20 other people for two

491

:

Tony Tidbit: hours.

492

:

I just, and I just told

you that on Friday.

493

:

Brad Bowling: Yeah.

494

:

Yeah.

495

:

And I just told you that on Friday.

496

:

Right.

497

:

John, what are you doing the next quarter?

498

:

But, but the, the, the, the thing

that we actually loved about that

499

:

is you came into the office, you

fought traffic, you got coffee.

500

:

You know, your teammates

were in the same room.

501

:

You touch people, you hugged people, you

joked, you know, you laughed with your

502

:

coworkers, man, people miss that now.

503

:

Now everything is on Zoom, and so

now we're starting to come back and

504

:

so it's being taken care of slowly.

505

:

But a lot of people now have self isolated

Tony, but they're like, you know what?

506

:

I'm in a business now

where my job is in Texas.

507

:

I live in Ohio.

508

:

I don't have to go to the

office so I can log in.

509

:

I'm on a, I'm on a computer all day.

510

:

I log off.

511

:

Well, you know, it's kind

of cold up here, Northeast.

512

:

I get the DoorDash, I get GrubHub.

513

:

My bank, my money goes

into the bank deposited.

514

:

I can shop on Amazon.

515

:

All my boxes come to me.

516

:

I, I can go five, six days

with no human interaction.

517

:

It is so detrimental because

self-isolation causes depression.

518

:

Loneliness, you don't

have a sense of touch.

519

:

You're not interacting with

people intimately, meaning

520

:

you're not in somebody's face.

521

:

You're not, Hey John, here's

a handshake, here's a hug.

522

:

This is a problem.

523

:

And a lot of people don't know.

524

:

Once they self isolate, they go down

a rabbit hole of self-isolation and

525

:

it creates a problem, and by the

time they figure out they have a

526

:

problem, it might be too late for 'em.

527

:

Right.

528

:

So, you know, it's, it's, it's a, it's

a growing problem across the country.

529

:

Tony Tidbit: You know, you know, one

of the things, all the things you

530

:

were talking about in terms of post

pandemic, you know, um, GrubHub, right?

531

:

Um, um, being able to work from

home, um, all those things that

532

:

technology, um, has allowed us zoom,

you know, all those things, right?

533

:

Right.

534

:

And so obviously you can also say,

well, look, to be honest, those

535

:

things are also a convenience.

536

:

Because people were, you know,

wearing themselves out to be fair,

537

:

commuting a long period of time.

538

:

Um, all the other negative things

that go along with it, right?

539

:

People were going to work and felt

like I can, I don't need somebody,

540

:

you know, having me come in here.

541

:

Um.

542

:

It's just like being

you, being my babysitter.

543

:

Right?

544

:

You gotta see me work

before you believe that.

545

:

Mm-hmm.

546

:

So, you know, there was also that,

however, one of the things I wanted to,

547

:

to bring up here, you know, I think it was

a few years ago I saw something National

548

:

Geographic ID or whatever it was about

Antarctica and that they had put people

549

:

on our art, they were using Antarctica.

550

:

As a, a, a, a, a preamble to go into Mars.

551

:

I remember that.

552

:

Yep.

553

:

Yep.

554

:

And they wanted to.

555

:

And why did they use our,

our Anica an Antarctica?

556

:

There's nothing there.

557

:

Alright.

558

:

So at the end of the day, they

had, they put humans there and

559

:

wanted to see how they could, uh,

interact with no human connectivity.

560

:

With no social connectivity

because now you're isolated.

561

:

Okay?

562

:

And one of the things that's very

important is having human touch,

563

:

is being able to speak to someone.

564

:

So if you can't do that.

565

:

And then now we're gonna put you

in a rocket ship that's gonna take

566

:

you seven months to get somewhere.

567

:

BEP Narrator: Mm-hmm.

568

:

Tony Tidbit: And then you're gonna

be on a planet all by yourself.

569

:

What would happen to human

beings if that happened?

570

:

Right?

571

:

Correct.

572

:

And obviously there's only a

few people that can do that.

573

:

So one of the things that you wrote in

your article was about touch starvation.

574

:

Okay.

575

:

About now, you know, as being a,

being physical human beings and touch.

576

:

Now people are not doing that.

577

:

So talk a little bit of what,

what touch star starvation is

578

:

and how it affects individuals.

579

:

Brad Bowling: So touch starvation

is the lack of touch that humans,

580

:

uh, either seek or have, uh, on a

daily basis, weekly basis, you know.

581

:

Or throughout their lives.

582

:

And so we wanted to include

touch starvation in the article

583

:

about looking glass cell theory,

because it's a part of it.

584

:

The skin is the largest organ

on your body, and the skin

585

:

sends receptors to their brain.

586

:

So touch is a huge, in, is a

huge, uh, how can I put it?

587

:

Motivating?

588

:

Or, or, or.

589

:

Touch is taken so much into consideration

in how you perceive yourself, right?

590

:

If you get a lot of touch, you

feel better about yourself.

591

:

If you don't have a lot of touch,

that touch starvation creates

592

:

a, a sense of lack of self.

593

:

Yes.

594

:

Go ahead.

595

:

Tony Tidbit: So, real quick question

though, I just wanna be clear.

596

:

When you say you get a lot of touch,

what do you mean by a lot of touch?

597

:

Is it a hug, a handshake?

598

:

What do you mean?

599

:

Brad Bowling: Yes, absolutely.

600

:

You know, if you take a look

at, you know, for instance in

601

:

our, you know, New York City.

602

:

Right.

603

:

New York City, the people in New York

City, they, they don't have cars.

604

:

They're all walking.

605

:

They're on the subway, they're

touches, even incidental.

606

:

Got it.

607

:

Got it.

608

:

You're walking, you're talking to

people, your interactions, uh, it,

609

:

it, it, it's all healthy, uh, because

you have, you know, you get feedback.

610

:

Your, your body is getting

611

:

Tony Tidbit: touched as being

a physical human being, right?

612

:

Brad Bowling: Correct.

613

:

As being a physical human being.

614

:

Uh, and so lack of touch

also creates a problem.

615

:

So you get positive endorphins when

you, when you have touch, the receptors

616

:

in your body tell you, okay, this is,

I'm getting positive feedback and this

617

:

is helping me understand who I am.

618

:

I'm happier when I have human

interaction and I have touch, you know?

619

:

And so one of the ways we talked about

a lack of touch is if you're not around

620

:

family, you're not around friends.

621

:

If you take a look at American

society, we have less marriage.

622

:

We we're having less children.

623

:

We're seeing each other less.

624

:

Uh, and I think we talked about this on

our other podcast, you know, when you

625

:

used to be around family and friends,

when you went to social events, when

626

:

you went to family functions, you

know, you would hug cousins, you would

627

:

talk to people even at work, shaking

a hand, putting your arm around a

628

:

coworker, congratulating each other.

629

:

Sporting events, attending

sporting events, the jumping

630

:

up and down the high five.

631

:

You know, you, you'd be surprised how

much you touch other people if you're

632

:

venturing out in your daily life.

633

:

And so that's all important to

human development and maintaining

634

:

a positive sense of self.

635

:

So touch starvation, we see it in children

in orphanages, and we also see it in

636

:

older people when they don't have a sense

of touch, they become lonely, depressed,

637

:

um, they develop stress, anxiety.

638

:

That anxiety leads to, you know,

suicidal tendencies and thoughts.

639

:

And so we highlighted if you are seeing

family members, if you're seeing friends

640

:

who are kind of disappearing a little

bit, you're not hearing from them a

641

:

lot, that you seek these people out.

642

:

You know, Tony, I used to sell life

insurance back, uh, a lifetime ago, and

643

:

I would go into homes and I would, you

know, give older people, uh, insurance.

644

:

And you would walk into the house and, you

know, you would see the grandmother there.

645

:

She's not getting, getting

visited by anybody.

646

:

She's got three cats, you

know, the walls are soft.

647

:

It's damp and air.

648

:

It's dark.

649

:

And she's touched, deprived.

650

:

Mm-hmm.

651

:

You know, her, her social interaction

is so limited, uh, that she's

652

:

depressed, she's fatigued, she's tired.

653

:

Um.

654

:

Just being around other people, man,

having healthy conversations, even

655

:

if they're surface conversations.

656

:

I can't tell you how much this

helps people in their daily lives.

657

:

You see it.

658

:

A lot of people who retire, right?

659

:

They retire,

660

:

Tony Tidbit: they die, they lose

661

:

Brad Bowling: their sense of, uh, purpose.

662

:

Mm-hmm.

663

:

And the next thing you know,

you know, their life expectancy

664

:

is reduced drastically because

their lifestyle changes so much.

665

:

Tony Tidbit: You know what's

interesting is that, you know, um.

666

:

Number one, this is very educational.

667

:

Number two, never thought about how

physical touch is so important and part

668

:

of us, and from a self-esteem standpoint,

from a, from a, um, social standpoint.

669

:

Right.

670

:

Brad Bowling: Right.

671

:

Tony Tidbit: How do talk a

little bit of how it affects

672

:

from a mental health standpoint.

673

:

You know, one of the things that, that

when we, again, when we think of mental

674

:

health, we think, um, somebody's going

down a rabbit hole because they're, uh.

675

:

Mentally off or, you know, they're

crazy or, or you know, talk about

676

:

how touch starvation can, can,

you know, affect mental health.

677

:

Brad Bowling: So, you know, your mental

health man right now, mental health is

678

:

one of the most important topics that we

can discuss as Americans, as black people.

679

:

Uh.

680

:

Because it's so critical to our

development and our sense of our identity

681

:

and our sense of self right now, right?

682

:

So if you don't have touch,

you're not getting any

683

:

visceral feedback from society.

684

:

So you don't really, you, you start to

lose your own self identity and then

685

:

depending on how you perceive yourself

already, it can exacerbate the problem.

686

:

So, you know, think about the, the

what comes with building stress.

687

:

The hormones that are released

when you have high stress levels?

688

:

Well, a lack of touch exacerbates

that when you do have touch,

689

:

you get positive endorphins,

you get a positive reinforcement

690

:

that, okay, I'm a good person.

691

:

I'm light.

692

:

Uh, let me reciprocate that.

693

:

Which then, uh, only

solidifies that thought, right?

694

:

So you're touched, so now you

reciprocate that behavior.

695

:

Well, guess what?

696

:

It goes the same way when

you don't have touch.

697

:

Well, if I'm not being touched,

I'm not reciprocating touch.

698

:

So it's a ugly rabbit hole that

you go down when you don't have

699

:

positive interactions with people.

700

:

This is why we recommend

joining a social club.

701

:

BEP Narrator: Mm.

702

:

Brad Bowling: You know, going to seek

out family and friends if you find

703

:

yourself not being around a lot of people.

704

:

You've gotta get out the house.

705

:

You gotta find different ways to get

out, talk to people, seek touch, whether

706

:

you know, massage, uh, going visit

fam, going, going to visit family man.

707

:

It's very, very critical to your

self care, uh, that you have

708

:

positive interactions with people

709

:

Tony Tidbit: with.

710

:

Does this have anything to do in terms

of different type of personality types?

711

:

Right.

712

:

Because one of the things, you know,

and, and let's just go back, let's, let's

713

:

you know, back up a little bit when we

talked about all the convenience that

714

:

technology has allowed us to be able to

order food work from home, um, all these

715

:

things that we can be able to do, right?

716

:

Brad Bowling: Right.

717

:

Tony Tidbit: Um, however, for

myself, I'm a touchy feely person.

718

:

Okay?

719

:

So I can't.

720

:

I need to be around people.

721

:

Right.

722

:

I now, don't get me wrong, I like,

there's times I wanna be by myself

723

:

and this and that and all, but

there's, if I don't, if I don't have

724

:

people around me, I don't have the

energy, I don't feel it's important.

725

:

I'm a, I'm a hugger, I'm a, all the

things that we got finished talking

726

:

about, but then there's other people

that, they're just not that way.

727

:

Right, right.

728

:

So does, does personality affect

this one way or the other?

729

:

Brad Bowling: I think it does.

730

:

And a lot can be said for an

introvert versus an extrovert.

731

:

Right, right.

732

:

I'm, I'm the same way.

733

:

I love talking to people.

734

:

I'm a, I'm a touchy feely person.

735

:

Touch is my love language.

736

:

Tony Tidbit: Right.

737

:

It's my love language as well.

738

:

Exactly.

739

:

Brad Bowling: Yeah.

740

:

Yeah, yeah.

741

:

So, you know, for me, uh, I thrive in it.

742

:

I desire it, uh, I initiate it.

743

:

Um, and so for me it's important.

744

:

Now I have two kids that are introverts.

745

:

And I, I, you know, I used to

always, you know, Hey, get out

746

:

there and do this and do that.

747

:

And, um, they are like that.

748

:

I'm, I'm good.

749

:

And what I've noticed as they

become adults is you kind

750

:

of have to let them do them.

751

:

Right.

752

:

And they're okay.

753

:

You know, so I have four kids, right?

754

:

So two of my kids are outgoing.

755

:

Two of my kids are pretty quiet,

and they're, they're reserved.

756

:

And so what I've noticed is that you

tend to, you know, if you're introvert,

757

:

you're okay having one, two friends.

758

:

Uh, you don't need a whole

lot and you're okay with that.

759

:

So yes, I think personality types

definitely play a factor in this.

760

:

And if you're the kind of person

that doesn't require a lot of

761

:

social interaction and you're

okay, I'm, I'm happy for you.

762

:

My concern is the people

where they may need it.

763

:

They're not seeking it, and then

that creates either a state of

764

:

depression or they go down a rabbit

hole of even a higher degree of

765

:

self isolation, and then that they

become mentally unhealthy behind it.

766

:

Tony Tidbit: Right.

767

:

Brad Bowling: So, yeah.

768

:

Tony Tidbit: So let me, you know,

one of the thing, you know, when

769

:

I was a kid, uh, and your parents

probably taught you the same thing.

770

:

You know, eating

vegetables is good for you.

771

:

Yeah.

772

:

BEP Narrator: Right,

773

:

Tony Tidbit: right.

774

:

And at the end of the

day, they were right.

775

:

But you were like, this is nasty.

776

:

I don't want to eat it.

777

:

BEP Narrator: Mm-hmm.

778

:

Tony Tidbit: How much of this is

people just don't know because

779

:

again, you, the con, this has been

around:

780

:

Brad Bowling: 1902, since 2

781

:

Tony Tidbit: 9 2, right?

782

:

Correct.

783

:

Right.

784

:

And, and I read it and I was

like, I never heard of it before.

785

:

It all makes sense, but I've

never heard of it before.

786

:

I didn't even, like I said, even the

Antarctica thing, I was like, wow,

787

:

that I never even thought of that.

788

:

People being by themselves and they

couldn't stand being by themselves.

789

:

Right.

790

:

I I never saw that.

791

:

So how much is this?

792

:

Is that people are just not aware.

793

:

They're thinking, Hey, me being

by myself is a good thing.

794

:

Me not touching somebody because

I don't know what they got.

795

:

That's a good thing.

796

:

Right?

797

:

Me, you know, not having to deal with

people's BS or their issues or them not

798

:

liking me or making up stuff or whatever.

799

:

It's a good thing.

800

:

Right?

801

:

Right.

802

:

But what I'm hearing is, is

they're creating their own cave

803

:

that they now is affecting.

804

:

So how much of it is that?

805

:

Uh, lack of awareness?

806

:

Brad Bowling: Well, excuse me.

807

:

It's

808

:

it, man.

809

:

You just said a lot there,

so I'm trying to figure out.

810

:

Tony Tidbit: No, good.

811

:

My brother.

812

:

Take your time.

813

:

Brad Bowling: I'm trying to figure out

how to break that down because the way

814

:

that I wrote the article, I wanted to make

people aware if you're self isolating.

815

:

I need you to be cognizant of the

ramification of self isolation.

816

:

Got it.

817

:

Right.

818

:

But at the same time, there are people

out there who are introverts, who

819

:

are comfortable, totally comfortable

not being around other people, but,

820

:

Tony Tidbit: but over they may

not know that this can help

821

:

them go down a rabbit hole.

822

:

Brad Bowling: Listen,

why am I not sleeping?

823

:

Tony Tidbit: There we go.

824

:

Yeah.

825

:

Brad Bowling: Why?

826

:

Why did I lose my appetite?

827

:

Tony Tidbit: Why am I cranky?

828

:

Brad Bowling: Why am I cranky?

829

:

What is going on?

830

:

You know, like, uh, I used

to be a much nicer person.

831

:

Now I've become more

intolerable of other people.

832

:

Well, we used to be tolerant

of other people's opinions.

833

:

I remember I used to look at other people.

834

:

I.

835

:

Fox News.

836

:

Remember, yo, sometimes I go look at Fox.

837

:

I just need to know what

they're thinking, bro.

838

:

Tony Tidbit: I used to watch,

uh, what was my man, he died.

839

:

Um, um, the dude that used to

be the staple of Fox, they, I

840

:

used to listen to his program.

841

:

Yeah.

842

:

Every day.

843

:

I forget his name.

844

:

Um, he went on ESPN for a minute

and then, uh, it, uh, he and it blew

845

:

up, but whatever we can get to it.

846

:

But point, uh, yes, yes, yes.

847

:

Yes.

848

:

To your point.

849

:

Uh, Ru Limbaugh, rush Limbaugh,

I used to listen to his show.

850

:

Okay.

851

:

Yes, all the time.

852

:

I used to listen to a

bunch of people's shows.

853

:

I'm like, I can't believe they said

that, or whatever the case would be.

854

:

But I would listen because sometimes they

would say stuff that I was like, that's

855

:

a good point, but finish your thought.

856

:

Brad Bowling: Yeah.

857

:

Yeah.

858

:

So, you know, you used to listen to the.

859

:

Opposing side's thoughts All the time.

860

:

All the time.

861

:

If we could agree to disagree,

then we still went and, and

862

:

we went to the ball game.

863

:

And you have friends of a different

opinion and a different background.

864

:

Exactly.

865

:

Exactly.

866

:

Now again, bro, if somebody's saying

something that you don't like, I'm done.

867

:

I'm unfriending you.

868

:

ADDRA Labs Promo: If you like what you

hear and wanna join us on this journey

869

:

of making uncomfortable conversations

comfortable, please subscribe to a A

870

:

A Black Executive Perspective podcast

on YouTube, apple Podcasts, Spotify,

871

:

or wherever you get your podcasts.

872

:

Hit subscribe now to stay

connected for more episodes.

873

:

That challenge inspire

and lead the change.

874

:

Brad Bowling: Yeah.

875

:

But we've been friends since third grade.

876

:

Yeah.

877

:

But you like green and I like red

and so we can't be So you know, now

878

:

all of this like-minded stuff is

creating a perception that I'm right.

879

:

And if you're wrong, I don't

have to listen to you and I

880

:

don't need to be around you.

881

:

These are the pro, this is why we have

so much red and blue in our country now.

882

:

Right,

883

:

BEP Narrator: right, right, right.

884

:

So we've

885

:

Brad Bowling: gotta make sure.

886

:

That we are tolerant of

other people's thoughts.

887

:

That we're respectful of

other people's opinions.

888

:

And it doesn't mean they're bad.

889

:

No, they're still an American.

890

:

They still love their kids.

891

:

They still big, they still want to, they

still wanna be, they're still people.

892

:

So the thing that I wanted to do in making

people aware about the looking Glass

893

:

self theory is you want to be careful.

894

:

How you treat yourself, because I think

Tony Post pandemic, I don't know if we're

895

:

kind to ourselves, let alone other people.

896

:

You know, you see a lot of stuff

when you take a look at the social

897

:

media memes and some of the scrolling

that you do, and you say, man, I.

898

:

You know, people are so mean out here.

899

:

That's kind of the theme right now

of America in:

900

:

America's not as nice as it used to be.

901

:

But I don't know if we're as

nice as to our, if we're as nice

902

:

to ourselves as we used to be.

903

:

I don't think we're treating

ourselves well anymore.

904

:

I.

905

:

You know, we're not

working out like we should.

906

:

We're eating bad foods.

907

:

I'm gonna tell you, man, that's a whole

nother podcast, is the food that we're

908

:

eating on top of the, so, hey, yo, yo, yo.

909

:

You get in the DoorDash, you

getting processed food, you're not

910

:

seeing anybody killing yourself.

911

:

You know, you look at the same

videos over and over and over, and

912

:

there are videos that you chose.

913

:

So the algorithm is throwing you more

junk at yourself that you're taking in.

914

:

And now you think the world is

this and the world really isn't.

915

:

Right.

916

:

Right.

917

:

Tony Tidbit: How much is, so

let's, let's, let's, let's put a

918

:

pin in just what you said, right.

919

:

How much is, um, you

know, you isolating you.

920

:

So let's back up.

921

:

You said how we are not loving,

and I'm mean, I'm gonna paraphrase.

922

:

Yes, sir.

923

:

We're not loving ourselves

enough like we used to.

924

:

Right.

925

:

How much of that.

926

:

Is based on, uh, pandemic is based

on isolation because you are right.

927

:

Um, you know everybody, what's that

old somebody taught me this years ago,

928

:

they said, uh, happiness is not a noun.

929

:

It's not a person, place, or thing.

930

:

Okay?

931

:

Okay.

932

:

So in other words, you don't become

happy 'cause you got a new house.

933

:

You don't become happy

because you got a new me.

934

:

All right?

935

:

You aren't happy because

you went to Rome, right?

936

:

You gotta be happy first.

937

:

Within.

938

:

Right.

939

:

It's a, it's a, a, it's a,

it's a always ongoing thing.

940

:

It's a verb, right?

941

:

It's not a noun.

942

:

That means I don't become happy 'cause a

noun is a person, place, or thing, right?

943

:

How much of what's going on today of

people not loving themselves and stuff

944

:

to that nature has to do with the,

uh, the, the looking glass theory?

945

:

Brad Bowling: Well, I think

it's not necessarily because

946

:

of looking glass theory.

947

:

But we're using,

948

:

Tony Tidbit: does it play a factor?

949

:

I should.

950

:

It

951

:

Brad Bowling: definitely plays a factor

because we, we determine our own self

952

:

value based on so many external factors.

953

:

How many likes you get?

954

:

Uh, how many dates do I go on?

955

:

Look at the dating apps.

956

:

The dating apps are designed to

make, you never get a date, but

957

:

success supposedly is finding a date.

958

:

Right?

959

:

Right.

960

:

So if you take just, let's, let's

use dating apps as an example.

961

:

Uh, it's, it's, uh, I think the

statistics say that a man may have

962

:

to scroll over a thousand times and

swipe right a thousand times to get one

963

:

match, one, one feedback from a female.

964

:

Do you understand how devastating and

stressful that is to be a man on a

965

:

dating app and you have to like, or,

or try to match with over:

966

:

before you get one single female?

967

:

Uh, to say, Hey, I like you too.

968

:

Do you, do you understand?

969

:

Will you understand what that does to

your psyche, to your self-confidence?

970

:

You know, to, to your self-perception.

971

:

If you're already kind of, you know,

maybe I'm a beta, maybe I'm not as

972

:

tall as I want to be, okay, well,

I'm not working out like I should.

973

:

Maybe I'm not making what I need to make.

974

:

And you know, with inflation and how hard

life is and how hard we are on ourselves.

975

:

And then when you have social

media and all of fakeness,

976

:

hey, he's got 13 gold chains.

977

:

He's driving a Porsche.

978

:

You know, and you read, you

know, this athlete got a $800

979

:

million four year contract.

980

:

You going, Jesus Christ,

I suck as a human being.

981

:

I'm failing miserably.

982

:

I can't even, because I, I can't even

983

:

Tony Tidbit: a date.

984

:

Brad Bowling: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

985

:

I got a 2% raise, which took me to 40 K.

986

:

Right.

987

:

I'm not doing sit-ups

like I'm supposed to.

988

:

Tony Tidbit: Inflation

went up 10%, so Yeah.

989

:

Bro.

990

:

Behind.

991

:

Brad Bowling: Yeah.

992

:

Right.

993

:

And so, you know.

994

:

It is so self-inflicting right now.

995

:

That's my, that's my problem with

what's going on with American society

996

:

is that, you know, we've kind of become

an own victim to our own behaviors.

997

:

Right?

998

:

Sure.

999

:

And that's the, that's the reason we

wrote the article is we wanted people

:

00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:10,590

to kind of wake up realize, hey, I might

be in this, and I'm not aware of it.

:

00:43:10,590 --> 00:43:13,080

Because when you go to the

doctor, they don't treat the

:

00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:14,370

cause, they treat the symptom.

:

00:43:15,660 --> 00:43:17,670

And we want people to

be aware of the cause.

:

00:43:17,850 --> 00:43:19,260

Tony Tidbit: That is an excellent point.

:

00:43:19,410 --> 00:43:21,150

Now, what can people do?

:

00:43:21,450 --> 00:43:23,490

Hey, I didn't know this.

:

00:43:23,820 --> 00:43:26,410

I'm listening to a A A Black

Executive Perspective podcast.

:

00:43:26,430 --> 00:43:29,850

I went on Code M, I

read the article, right?

:

00:43:29,850 --> 00:43:31,560

This could be me, right?

:

00:43:31,560 --> 00:43:35,700

So what can they do to build

a healthier self-esteem?

:

00:43:36,525 --> 00:43:37,395

What's your thoughts?

:

00:43:37,755 --> 00:43:40,725

Brad Bowling: So if you take a look

at American Society right now, right?

:

00:43:40,725 --> 00:43:42,705

You have more single people than ever.

:

00:43:43,125 --> 00:43:44,895

You have more divorced people than ever.

:

00:43:45,435 --> 00:43:49,095

And so, you know, a lot of times people

say, well, you know, I'm not going out.

:

00:43:49,215 --> 00:43:50,955

There's not a lot of places to go.

:

00:43:51,315 --> 00:43:52,335

That's just not true.

:

00:43:52,665 --> 00:43:56,685

There's so many social organizations

that are doing things that

:

00:43:56,685 --> 00:43:58,060

you're in interested in.

:

00:43:58,290 --> 00:44:01,725

Gardening, clubs, you

know, uh, book clubs.

:

00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:04,350

Workout clubs, there are travel clubs.

:

00:44:04,379 --> 00:44:06,359

There are so many or painting clubs.

:

00:44:06,779 --> 00:44:09,540

Uh, you know, you still have

the social organizations,

:

00:44:09,540 --> 00:44:13,020

NAACP Urban League, uh, ACL U.

:

00:44:13,020 --> 00:44:15,359

There's so many things that you can go do.

:

00:44:15,735 --> 00:44:21,975

To throw yourself back into being socially

not accepted, but being around people.

:

00:44:21,975 --> 00:44:26,565

You start there with social interest

like yours, where now you're developing

:

00:44:26,565 --> 00:44:31,395

friendships, you're developing commonality

with other people that jumpstarts

:

00:44:31,395 --> 00:44:32,775

your ability to get out the house.

:

00:44:32,775 --> 00:44:34,125

Now you have somewhere to go.

:

00:44:34,305 --> 00:44:36,855

The meetings are every Wednesday

night at seven o'clock, so

:

00:44:36,855 --> 00:44:38,715

you're in front of people, right?

:

00:44:38,715 --> 00:44:40,935

Get off the zoom, go back to the office.

:

00:44:41,265 --> 00:44:43,965

If you have an opportunity where the

office is saying, come on back in.

:

00:44:44,535 --> 00:44:45,375

Go back in.

:

00:44:46,035 --> 00:44:47,024

Go back in, Tony.

:

00:44:47,024 --> 00:44:49,214

It's so important because guess what?

:

00:44:49,214 --> 00:44:51,015

Remember you're going to

the cafeteria for lunch.

:

00:44:51,015 --> 00:44:53,024

You're going across the

street at the cafe for lunch.

:

00:44:53,024 --> 00:44:55,245

Now this the waitress

that you used to know.

:

00:44:55,245 --> 00:44:58,754

You know again, the guy that sat

at table two, your table one that

:

00:44:58,754 --> 00:45:01,845

you used to talk to from across the

room, you're talking to him again.

:

00:45:02,415 --> 00:45:03,285

Go golfing.

:

00:45:03,765 --> 00:45:05,294

Go join the volleyball club.

:

00:45:06,750 --> 00:45:08,460

You know, there are

soccer clubs out there.

:

00:45:08,610 --> 00:45:10,110

There are walking clubs.

:

00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:10,830

Right.

:

00:45:10,830 --> 00:45:13,350

Remember I used to go to the mall,

you see the old people walking.

:

00:45:13,350 --> 00:45:15,720

Then they went to the McDonald's

and they sat there and they talked.

:

00:45:15,930 --> 00:45:17,220

We still need that.

:

00:45:17,335 --> 00:45:17,685

BEP Narrator: Right?

:

00:45:17,690 --> 00:45:17,820

Right.

:

00:45:17,880 --> 00:45:18,300

It gave

:

00:45:18,300 --> 00:45:21,240

Brad Bowling: people a sense of

purpose and identity and commonality

:

00:45:21,240 --> 00:45:23,820

and you, you talk to people with

different backgrounds and you got a

:

00:45:23,820 --> 00:45:26,460

chance to see and socially interact.

:

00:45:26,460 --> 00:45:27,660

Man, we've gotta get back to that.

:

00:45:28,225 --> 00:45:31,674

Tony Tidbit: So the reason I was laughing,

because number one, obviously the things

:

00:45:31,674 --> 00:45:33,625

that you were saying is, is, is true.

:

00:45:33,690 --> 00:45:34,040

Right?

:

00:45:34,045 --> 00:45:34,375

Right.

:

00:45:34,375 --> 00:45:37,285

But if I'm, like I said, if I'm

on the other side of it, I'm like,

:

00:45:37,555 --> 00:45:40,134

none of that I'm, you might as

well tell me eat vegetables again.

:

00:45:41,695 --> 00:45:45,025

None of that sounds

attracting to me, you know?

:

00:45:45,025 --> 00:45:50,335

So number one, your point of the

article makes so much sense, right?

:

00:45:50,335 --> 00:45:51,480

To make people aware.

:

00:45:52,320 --> 00:45:55,830

What could they do from a

baby step standpoint, right?

:

00:45:56,040 --> 00:45:58,470

Because all those things that

you just gotta finish, say, and

:

00:45:58,470 --> 00:45:59,700

look, let, let's break it up.

:

00:45:59,700 --> 00:46:03,570

Maybe there are, maybe there are

introvert, maybe they're extroverts as

:

00:46:03,570 --> 00:46:07,500

well as introverts, but let's just look at

it from a personality standpoint, right?

:

00:46:07,560 --> 00:46:12,150

For whatever reason, some people

just don't want to at this moment

:

00:46:12,155 --> 00:46:16,080

for however they got there in terms

of interaction and didn't know.

:

00:46:16,424 --> 00:46:18,345

That this can is a detriment.

:

00:46:18,375 --> 00:46:20,294

This can affect them from

mental health standpoint.

:

00:46:20,745 --> 00:46:22,665

All that self-esteem,

the whole nine yards.

:

00:46:22,665 --> 00:46:23,024

Right.

:

00:46:23,234 --> 00:46:24,765

What's little steps?

:

00:46:24,794 --> 00:46:27,915

Because all those other things have

been offered to them a million times.

:

00:46:27,915 --> 00:46:27,975

Yeah.

:

00:46:28,214 --> 00:46:29,564

They're probably aware of them.

:

00:46:29,564 --> 00:46:29,805

Right.

:

00:46:29,805 --> 00:46:31,305

And they still don't wanna do it.

:

00:46:31,660 --> 00:46:36,279

What little steps could they take that can

get them back on that little treadmill?

:

00:46:36,460 --> 00:46:41,410

Or it may not be as big as joining a

GLO club or, or, or those type things,

:

00:46:41,410 --> 00:46:45,370

but it's still giving them that physical

touch, still giving them that interaction

:

00:46:45,370 --> 00:46:47,500

with human beings outside of social media.

:

00:46:47,920 --> 00:46:49,330

Brad Bowling: Let me, let me

attack this from the other

:

00:46:49,330 --> 00:46:50,649

side for a second, if you will.

:

00:46:50,649 --> 00:46:50,890

Tony Tidbit: Yeah,

:

00:46:50,890 --> 00:46:51,370

Brad Bowling: please.

:

00:46:51,700 --> 00:46:54,339

Uh, I wanna throw a challenge

out there because we all know

:

00:46:54,339 --> 00:46:58,420

somebody in our lives who we don't

talk to as much as we used to.

:

00:46:59,085 --> 00:47:01,125

Somehow the relationship's falling off.

:

00:47:01,635 --> 00:47:03,345

Uh, you don't see 'em

as much as you used to.

:

00:47:03,345 --> 00:47:05,265

You don't talk to 'em

as much as you used to.

:

00:47:05,685 --> 00:47:09,945

I'm challenging people that if you

don't have a problem in your social

:

00:47:09,945 --> 00:47:13,665

surroundings or social circles to

reach out to that person, right?

:

00:47:13,875 --> 00:47:16,635

Sometimes in order to have good

friends, you have to be a good friend.

:

00:47:16,665 --> 00:47:16,815

Yeah.

:

00:47:16,815 --> 00:47:17,205

BEP Narrator: We go,

:

00:47:17,415 --> 00:47:20,115

Brad Bowling: so maybe we attack

this from the other side and

:

00:47:20,115 --> 00:47:21,165

we say, okay, you know what?

:

00:47:21,165 --> 00:47:25,515

If I see that Bob is not calling me

like he used to let me reach out to him.

:

00:47:26,009 --> 00:47:28,020

Let me be the catalyst

to him getting back.

:

00:47:28,290 --> 00:47:28,440

Right.

:

00:47:28,440 --> 00:47:31,410

'cause sometimes throwing that

lifeline is all they need.

:

00:47:31,799 --> 00:47:32,100

Tony Tidbit: Right?

:

00:47:32,160 --> 00:47:35,130

Brad Bowling: Uh, so, and, and

because I'm, and I'm only saying

:

00:47:35,130 --> 00:47:38,820

this, Tony, because you're right,

Bob already knows that all of

:

00:47:38,820 --> 00:47:40,110

that stuff is available to him.

:

00:47:40,170 --> 00:47:40,350

Right.

:

00:47:40,380 --> 00:47:42,840

He's choosing not to engage, right?

:

00:47:42,840 --> 00:47:43,140

Correct.

:

00:47:43,145 --> 00:47:43,295

Tony Tidbit: Correct.

:

00:47:43,380 --> 00:47:47,430

Brad Bowling: Well, Bob needs his

friend to call him and say, you know

:

00:47:47,430 --> 00:47:49,980

what, Bob, Hey man, I'm coming over.

:

00:47:50,400 --> 00:47:50,759

Tony Tidbit: Well,

:

00:47:50,759 --> 00:47:51,480

Brad Bowling: no, no, no.

:

00:47:51,480 --> 00:47:52,050

I didn't clean up.

:

00:47:52,050 --> 00:47:52,890

No, I don't care about that.

:

00:47:52,890 --> 00:47:54,090

I'll see you Tuesday at three o'clock.

:

00:47:54,240 --> 00:47:55,830

Tony Tidbit: Or just show

up, but just show up.

:

00:47:55,830 --> 00:47:56,610

Bob, I'm knocking

:

00:47:56,610 --> 00:47:57,330

Brad Bowling: on the door.

:

00:47:57,360 --> 00:47:58,380

I know you home.

:

00:47:58,710 --> 00:47:59,460

I'm coming in.

:

00:47:59,490 --> 00:47:59,850

Right?

:

00:48:00,029 --> 00:48:03,870

So I think that we have

to save each other.

:

00:48:05,400 --> 00:48:11,490

Um, Bob doesn't know that he's self

isolating, and even if this article tells

:

00:48:11,490 --> 00:48:13,620

him he is, he may not have the confidence.

:

00:48:13,965 --> 00:48:17,355

Or the desire to pick himself up by

his bootstraps, because guess what?

:

00:48:17,565 --> 00:48:18,735

Depression set in.

:

00:48:18,765 --> 00:48:19,455

Exactly.

:

00:48:19,455 --> 00:48:21,255

He's so used to self isolating.

:

00:48:21,435 --> 00:48:25,395

You know, I just was talking to,

uh, somebody who, you know, they,

:

00:48:25,515 --> 00:48:29,145

they said they wanted to work out

for:

:

00:48:29,145 --> 00:48:33,615

Yesterday they got up and went to

the gym this morning I caught him.

:

00:48:33,735 --> 00:48:35,025

He said, Brad, it's snow on the ground.

:

00:48:35,025 --> 00:48:35,745

I'm not going.

:

00:48:37,905 --> 00:48:39,285

It's, it is a what?

:

00:48:39,285 --> 00:48:40,365

A dusting of snow.

:

00:48:40,365 --> 00:48:41,625

And they decided they're not going.

:

00:48:41,895 --> 00:48:42,945

I'm like, you gotta go.

:

00:48:43,649 --> 00:48:45,120

You gotta go, because guess what?

:

00:48:45,299 --> 00:48:49,830

Once you get there, you're gonna

find out, man, my body feels so good.

:

00:48:49,950 --> 00:48:51,720

I mentally feel so good.

:

00:48:51,870 --> 00:48:54,629

I put myself through so

much agony to go to the gym.

:

00:48:54,629 --> 00:48:57,750

And guess as soon as you got

there, the first three steps on the

:

00:48:57,750 --> 00:49:01,140

treadmill, you're kicking yourself

going, dang, I cannot believe.

:

00:49:01,140 --> 00:49:05,580

I just went through all of that

and I'm so happy that I came.

:

00:49:06,150 --> 00:49:06,810

You know what I mean?

:

00:49:06,810 --> 00:49:09,270

When you know how you get done,

you are in a shower, you're like,

:

00:49:09,270 --> 00:49:11,760

dude, I feel like, like a million

dollars because I worked out.

:

00:49:11,820 --> 00:49:12,330

Tony Tidbit: Exactly.

:

00:49:12,510 --> 00:49:13,080

Exactly.

:

00:49:13,290 --> 00:49:13,620

Well, and

:

00:49:13,620 --> 00:49:14,100

Brad Bowling: that's it.

:

00:49:14,190 --> 00:49:14,490

Tony Tidbit: Go ahead.

:

00:49:14,490 --> 00:49:15,000

Finish buddy.

:

00:49:15,090 --> 00:49:17,490

Brad Bowling: I just, I just

told him I'm hanging up.

:

00:49:17,670 --> 00:49:19,710

You go into the gym, call

me when you come back.

:

00:49:19,890 --> 00:49:20,820

And he said, damnit, bro.

:

00:49:20,850 --> 00:49:21,690

Oh, I didn't mean to cuss.

:

00:49:21,900 --> 00:49:22,650

He said, darn it.

:

00:49:22,650 --> 00:49:23,370

Darn it, Brad.

:

00:49:23,640 --> 00:49:25,080

I, I appreciate you calling me.

:

00:49:25,320 --> 00:49:26,880

I appreciate you kicking my butt.

:

00:49:27,090 --> 00:49:30,960

I'm going, and so sometimes we have

to be that for each other, Tony,

:

00:49:31,170 --> 00:49:33,630

Tony Tidbit: buddy, you are

a hundred percent right.

:

00:49:33,660 --> 00:49:36,720

And those little steps matter, right?

:

00:49:36,720 --> 00:49:39,390

Because even with that one-on-one, I.

:

00:49:39,765 --> 00:49:43,935

Going over to Bob's house, Bob

is now having social interaction

:

00:49:43,935 --> 00:49:44,924

with another human being.

:

00:49:45,404 --> 00:49:48,705

Bob, now you shake Bob's

hand or you give Bob a hug.

:

00:49:48,975 --> 00:49:50,835

Now he's having physical touch.

:

00:49:50,839 --> 00:49:51,109

Right?

:

00:49:51,115 --> 00:49:51,495

Right.

:

00:49:51,645 --> 00:49:54,944

Now you guys are talking about

what's going on in the world and you

:

00:49:54,944 --> 00:49:58,455

know, you guys may agree, disagree,

but there's some, now you know, we

:

00:49:58,455 --> 00:50:00,105

are having some verbiage together.

:

00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:02,440

Our brains, his brain is being stimulated.

:

00:50:02,860 --> 00:50:02,980

Brad Bowling: Right?

:

00:50:02,980 --> 00:50:04,720

And Bob finds out there,

that's not as bad as he

:

00:50:04,720 --> 00:50:05,020

Tony Tidbit: thought.

:

00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:06,490

Not as bad as he thought.

:

00:50:06,550 --> 00:50:06,850

Right?

:

00:50:06,850 --> 00:50:10,930

So those little bitty things

can be big things, right?

:

00:50:10,930 --> 00:50:12,790

Versus Bob doing all the other things.

:

00:50:12,790 --> 00:50:15,610

So I really appreciate

you breaking that down.

:

00:50:15,610 --> 00:50:19,240

And I love the way you came about

it from the other side, right?

:

00:50:19,480 --> 00:50:20,080

Because.

:

00:50:20,625 --> 00:50:23,745

And I, I, I remember, man, when,

when we talked about it in my, uh,

:

00:50:23,775 --> 00:50:26,295

last episode when my son passed away.

:

00:50:26,295 --> 00:50:26,655

Yes sir.

:

00:50:26,715 --> 00:50:27,075

Right?

:

00:50:27,075 --> 00:50:30,405

And if you remember, well, you wouldn't

remember, but obviously you probably had

:

00:50:30,405 --> 00:50:33,075

people, um, pass away in your family.

:

00:50:33,075 --> 00:50:35,805

But when that happens,

people self isolate.

:

00:50:36,810 --> 00:50:38,399

They don't wanna be around nobody.

:

00:50:38,850 --> 00:50:39,089

Yeah.

:

00:50:39,180 --> 00:50:41,609

They don't want, you know,

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

:

00:50:41,609 --> 00:50:43,649

And I remember, I never forget it.

:

00:50:44,100 --> 00:50:46,379

Um, I just wanted to be in a hole.

:

00:50:46,470 --> 00:50:47,910

I just wanted to stay home.

:

00:50:48,120 --> 00:50:49,470

I didn't wanna talk to nobody.

:

00:50:49,680 --> 00:50:51,089

People were reaching out to me.

:

00:50:51,270 --> 00:50:52,049

I didn't want anything.

:

00:50:52,470 --> 00:50:57,359

Then the doorbell rang and I went to

the door and there was my best friends.

:

00:50:57,720 --> 00:50:58,915

They just showed up.

:

00:50:59,625 --> 00:51:00,154

Just showed up.

:

00:51:00,154 --> 00:51:01,350

They came, right.

:

00:51:01,410 --> 00:51:03,660

And for that moment, for that hour or two.

:

00:51:05,190 --> 00:51:06,960

That they were in the house.

:

00:51:07,755 --> 00:51:12,884

And prior to them coming, I was

totally against chatting with anybody.

:

00:51:13,335 --> 00:51:17,895

But that hour or two what they was

there, it took my mind off things.

:

00:51:18,225 --> 00:51:19,245

It was better.

:

00:51:19,305 --> 00:51:22,035

I felt so much better at that.

:

00:51:22,035 --> 00:51:24,855

Just like you talk about when

you went to the gym, right?

:

00:51:24,855 --> 00:51:25,154

All right.

:

00:51:25,455 --> 00:51:26,625

All those things.

:

00:51:26,714 --> 00:51:30,975

But they just showed up and it

was one of the most important

:

00:51:30,975 --> 00:51:34,275

things to help me move forward.

:

00:51:34,650 --> 00:51:35,160

Right.

:

00:51:35,279 --> 00:51:38,040

So it was a small gesture.

:

00:51:38,040 --> 00:51:38,759

They didn't call.

:

00:51:38,759 --> 00:51:40,395

'cause they had, they called,

I would've said, don't.

:

00:51:40,395 --> 00:51:41,340

You would've said no.

:

00:51:41,430 --> 00:51:41,940

Exactly.

:

00:51:41,940 --> 00:51:42,630

Don't come.

:

00:51:42,840 --> 00:51:43,050

Right.

:

00:51:43,050 --> 00:51:44,220

They showed up.

:

00:51:44,430 --> 00:51:46,440

So those things are important.

:

00:51:46,680 --> 00:51:47,040

Brad.

:

00:51:47,040 --> 00:51:47,550

Boing.

:

00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:48,900

Final thoughts, my man.

:

00:51:49,080 --> 00:51:50,279

Where do you wanna leave the audience?

:

00:51:50,430 --> 00:51:52,020

Brad Bowling: You know, Tony, I love life.

:

00:51:52,230 --> 00:51:54,570

Uh, life is best lived when you're living.

:

00:51:54,870 --> 00:51:57,720

Push the envelope, uh,

live life to the fullest.

:

00:51:57,720 --> 00:52:01,290

If God let you wake up today, you

are to get the most out of your debt.

:

00:52:01,770 --> 00:52:02,130

Right?

:

00:52:02,130 --> 00:52:03,690

And so we wrote the article.

:

00:52:04,020 --> 00:52:09,360

As a reminder and as a guide to

people to take care of yourself,

:

00:52:09,450 --> 00:52:11,250

take care, better care of yourself.

:

00:52:11,910 --> 00:52:15,330

And so, you know, I just want people to

get everything they're supposed to get.

:

00:52:15,330 --> 00:52:17,250

You don't have to have all

the money in the world.

:

00:52:17,400 --> 00:52:18,780

You don't have to look the best.

:

00:52:19,110 --> 00:52:22,260

You don't have to be the brightest,

you don't have to have the best career,

:

00:52:22,500 --> 00:52:24,810

but you can have purpose and meaning.

:

00:52:25,110 --> 00:52:26,640

You have to go out and create it.

:

00:52:27,090 --> 00:52:30,840

And so we wrote the article to

remind people, love yourself,

:

00:52:31,170 --> 00:52:32,520

love those around you.

:

00:52:32,880 --> 00:52:34,440

Here are the warning signs.

:

00:52:34,440 --> 00:52:38,430

So if you're kind of dealing with some

self isolation, if you're not getting as

:

00:52:38,430 --> 00:52:43,590

much touch as you need here, you know,

here's what you can do to create it, to

:

00:52:43,590 --> 00:52:50,370

jumpstart it, uh, and, and to kind of get

back to enjoying life like we used to.

:

00:52:50,370 --> 00:52:54,780

I think it's so difficult right now,

uh, post pandemic to find purpose, to

:

00:52:54,780 --> 00:52:56,910

find intention, to find intentionality.

:

00:52:57,540 --> 00:53:02,400

And a lot of times, you know,

it all starts with one article.

:

00:53:02,940 --> 00:53:04,620

It can start with one phone call.

:

00:53:04,919 --> 00:53:06,569

It can start with one handshake, bro.

:

00:53:06,990 --> 00:53:10,410

And, and so hopefully that handshake,

you know, the article was a handshake to

:

00:53:10,410 --> 00:53:14,730

somebody out there to say, Hey, we love

you and uh, we hope you love yourself.

:

00:53:15,705 --> 00:53:16,935

Tony Tidbit: Number one, I love you.

:

00:53:17,310 --> 00:53:17,830

Brad Bowling: I appreciate you.

:

00:53:17,830 --> 00:53:18,549

I love you too, bro.

:

00:53:18,549 --> 00:53:20,115

Tony Tidbit: Number for you to write this.

:

00:53:20,115 --> 00:53:24,375

And again, a lot of the articles

you write is all about love because

:

00:53:24,375 --> 00:53:27,975

you're educating people on things

that they may not be aware of, right?

:

00:53:28,035 --> 00:53:31,185

And so this was great and you

are a hundred percent right.

:

00:53:31,665 --> 00:53:34,455

Um, we, number one, have

to love ourselves first.

:

00:53:34,605 --> 00:53:35,234

Okay?

:

00:53:35,595 --> 00:53:37,365

And we have to take

care of ourselves first.

:

00:53:37,395 --> 00:53:37,935

'cause guess what?

:

00:53:37,964 --> 00:53:39,404

There's nobody else

gonna take care of you.

:

00:53:39,404 --> 00:53:40,065

Better than you.

:

00:53:40,065 --> 00:53:40,904

Than you, right?

:

00:53:40,904 --> 00:53:41,384

Brad Bowling: Exactly.

:

00:53:41,634 --> 00:53:44,605

Tony Tidbit: So I wanna thank you

for coming on and, and back up.

:

00:53:44,634 --> 00:53:45,535

Let's back up a second, sir.

:

00:53:45,565 --> 00:53:47,305

What's your words for:

:

00:53:47,305 --> 00:53:47,875

Say it again?

:

00:53:48,714 --> 00:53:49,855

Purpose and power, baby.

:

00:53:49,855 --> 00:53:50,440

Purpose and power.

:

00:53:50,440 --> 00:53:51,120

Purpose and power.

:

00:53:51,120 --> 00:53:51,359

Yes, sir.

:

00:53:51,365 --> 00:53:53,395

And look, buddy, I, I, I give it to you.

:

00:53:53,665 --> 00:53:58,285

You came on the show and you

provided purpose and power.

:

00:53:58,815 --> 00:54:03,285

This article that you wrote, and

I know this for a fact, all right?

:

00:54:03,285 --> 00:54:04,755

I know this for a fact.

:

00:54:04,995 --> 00:54:09,045

When somebody reads that article

or listens or watch this podcast,

:

00:54:09,705 --> 00:54:11,985

it's going to help a ton of people.

:

00:54:12,345 --> 00:54:17,175

So I want to thank you, number one,

for having the, the, the, the thought.

:

00:54:17,420 --> 00:54:21,860

The thought process of thinking of other

people and putting something together

:

00:54:21,860 --> 00:54:26,930

that 99% of us have no clue what it

is, even though we're dealing with it.

:

00:54:27,170 --> 00:54:29,750

That shows how much love you

have for your fellow man.

:

00:54:30,020 --> 00:54:33,700

So I really appreciate, and then

also coming on a A A Black Executive

:

00:54:33,700 --> 00:54:36,140

Perspective podcast to share it.

:

00:54:36,930 --> 00:54:40,200

Provide more in depth, uh,

uh, thought process behind it.

:

00:54:40,439 --> 00:54:43,500

So Brad Boland, president Code

Magazine, I love you a lot.

:

00:54:43,740 --> 00:54:45,180

Thanks for attending my brother.

:

00:54:45,270 --> 00:54:45,930

Brad Bowling: I love you too.

:

00:54:45,930 --> 00:54:50,129

So, and, and let me just say, I thank you

for allowing us to come on to talk about

:

00:54:50,129 --> 00:54:55,439

this, uh, because, you know, having it be

in print and online is one thing, but then

:

00:54:55,439 --> 00:54:59,910

bringing it to life, talking to you about

it, it makes it so much more impactful.

:

00:54:59,910 --> 00:55:03,120

And so I thank you for allowing

me to come on to talk, brother.

:

00:55:03,149 --> 00:55:04,229

I'm so proud of you.

:

00:55:04,695 --> 00:55:09,105

What you're doing, your show, the award

that you got, just being one years old

:

00:55:09,105 --> 00:55:10,905

bro, keep kicking life in the butt.

:

00:55:11,235 --> 00:55:14,325

Keep getting it done and I

will see you around the corner.

:

00:55:14,565 --> 00:55:15,225

Tony Tidbit: Thank you buddy.

:

00:55:15,225 --> 00:55:16,245

We gonna thrive.

:

00:55:16,305 --> 00:55:18,230

We gonna strive and thrive's, right?

:

00:55:18,340 --> 00:55:18,630

Live.

:

00:55:18,630 --> 00:55:19,030

Brad Bowling: Alright.

:

00:55:19,030 --> 00:55:19,390

Tony Tidbit: Alright.

:

00:55:19,390 --> 00:55:22,395

You stay right there because you

gonna help us with our call to action.

:

00:55:22,635 --> 00:55:26,205

So I think it's now

time for Tony's tidbit.

:

00:55:26,445 --> 00:55:32,325

So the tidbit today, your self worth

isn't defined by likes or follows.

:

00:55:32,985 --> 00:55:36,885

But by the love and compassion

you show to yourself.

:

00:55:37,455 --> 00:55:40,905

True confidence comes from

understanding that your value

:

00:55:41,235 --> 00:55:47,685

isn't dictated by others judgments,

but by your own self-acceptance.

:

00:55:47,985 --> 00:55:52,485

And you heard a lot of that and more

from our, uh, guest, Brad Boland,

:

00:55:52,485 --> 00:55:54,075

president of Code M Magazine.

:

00:55:54,255 --> 00:55:58,485

So real quick reminder, please don't

forget to check out every Thursday.

:

00:55:58,805 --> 00:56:00,245

Need to know by Dr.

:

00:56:00,245 --> 00:56:03,144

NAA Burton on a A A Black

Executive Perspective podcast.

:

00:56:03,424 --> 00:56:03,799

Dr.

:

00:56:03,799 --> 00:56:08,345

Burton dives into the timely and

crucial topics that you need to be a

:

00:56:08,345 --> 00:56:12,424

part of and listen to and learn from

that shape our community and world

:

00:56:12,605 --> 00:56:17,105

Tune in to gain the insight and deepen

your understanding of the issues that

:

00:56:17,105 --> 00:56:19,265

matter that you may not be aware of.

:

00:56:19,265 --> 00:56:24,174

Just like the Self Looking Glass Theory,

you don't wanna miss it every Thursday on

:

00:56:24,174 --> 00:56:26,075

a A A Black Executive Perspective podcast.

:

00:56:26,194 --> 00:56:27,815

So now it's time for our.

:

00:56:28,080 --> 00:56:30,030

Beeps call to action.

:

00:56:30,210 --> 00:56:33,780

Our goal is to eliminate all

forms of discrimination and to

:

00:56:33,780 --> 00:56:37,860

achieve this, we're asking everyone

to embrace our call to action.

:

00:56:37,860 --> 00:56:43,350

Our word less, LESS, Brad Bowling.

:

00:56:43,380 --> 00:56:44,550

Kick us off my brother.

:

00:56:44,880 --> 00:56:46,740

Brad Bowling: So the first L is learn.

:

00:56:46,760 --> 00:56:49,970

Educate yourself on racial

and cultural nuances.

:

00:56:50,600 --> 00:56:51,140

Tony Tidbit: Exactly.

:

00:56:51,140 --> 00:56:55,280

Then after you learn, you have the

letter E, which stands for empathy.

:

00:56:55,310 --> 00:56:55,820

Right?

:

00:56:55,880 --> 00:56:59,810

So now you've learned, now you've

understand other people's perspective.

:

00:56:59,810 --> 00:57:02,000

You put yourself in their shoes.

:

00:57:02,210 --> 00:57:05,840

So now you know exactly what your

friends and colleagues are going through.

:

00:57:06,410 --> 00:57:10,910

Brad Bowling: The uh, first s is share,

share your insights to enlighten others.

:

00:57:11,520 --> 00:57:12,270

Tony Tidbit: Absolutely.

:

00:57:12,270 --> 00:57:15,630

And then once you share,

now you wanna stop.

:

00:57:15,630 --> 00:57:16,890

That's the final S.

:

00:57:17,040 --> 00:57:20,730

You wanna actively stop discrimination

as it walks in your path.

:

00:57:21,000 --> 00:57:25,590

So again, if Auntie Jenny says something

at the Sunday dinner table that's

:

00:57:25,590 --> 00:57:28,080

inappropriate, you say, auntie Jenny.

:

00:57:28,220 --> 00:57:29,359

We don't believe that.

:

00:57:29,480 --> 00:57:32,000

We don't say that, and

you stop it right there.

:

00:57:32,000 --> 00:57:39,529

So if everyone can incorporate our

word less LESS, we'll build a more

:

00:57:39,529 --> 00:57:43,609

fair and a more understanding world,

and more importantly, we will.

:

00:57:43,660 --> 00:57:49,120

All be able to see the change that we

want to see because less will become

:

00:57:49,120 --> 00:57:53,540

more so again, continue to follow

a A A Black Executive Perspective

:

00:57:53,540 --> 00:57:55,149

wherever you get your podcast.

:

00:57:55,149 --> 00:57:59,680

We're on YouTube, apple, Spotify,

on all the podcasts platforms.

:

00:57:59,859 --> 00:58:04,089

You can also follow a Black Executive's

Perspective podcast on all our social

:

00:58:04,089 --> 00:58:09,009

channels of LinkedIn, X, YouTube,

TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook.

:

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At a black exec for our fabulous,

inspiring, powerful and purposeful guest

:

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president of Codem Magazine, Brad Boland.

:

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I'm Tony Tidbit.

:

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We talked about it.

:

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We learned about it.

:

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We strove.

:

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We strived about it, and

we're gonna thrive about it.

:

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We love you.

:

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And guess what?

:

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We're out

:

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BEP Narrator: a black

:

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executive perspective.

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About the Podcast

TonyTidbit: A Black Executive Perspective
Reshaping Leadership & Diversity in Corporate America
About the Podcast: "TonyTidbit: A Black Executive Perspective" offers a deep dive into the corporate world through the lens of diversity, equity, and inclusion. Hosted by Tony Franklin, aka Tony Tidbit, this podcast shines a light on vital conversations around race, leadership, and diversity, fostering understanding and change.

https://ablackexec.com

Meet Your Host: Tony Franklin has over three decades of corporate experience and provides transformative insights into diversity and inclusion, making each episode a journey of learning and empowerment.

Why You Should Listen:
- Diverse Perspectives: Insights from a variety of voices on challenges and triumphs in the corporate sphere.
-Action-Oriented: Practical advice for advocating equity and allyship in the workplace.
- Educational & Empathetic: A focus on empathy and education to drive impactful change.

What to Expect: #BEPpodcast brings powerful transformations, empowering voices, addressing barriers, and delving into topics reshaping Corporate America. It's a platform uniting diverse voices and making a significant impact.

Stay Connected:
Follow @ablackexec on social media for insights and visit ablackexec.com for updates and additional content.

Listen & Subscribe:
"TonyTidbit: A Black Executive Perspective" is available on:
Apple Podcasts: https://ablackexec.com/apple
Spotify: https://ablackexec.com/spotify
YouTube Podcasts: https://ablackexec.com/youtube
Other Platforms: https://ablackexec.com/listen

Join us in transforming the narrative on race, leadership, and diversity in Corporate America. Your participation matters!

#BEPpodcast #TonyTidbit #CorporateDiversity #Inclusion #Leadership #RaceInCorporate #DiversityMatters #DEI

This podcast uses analytics and growth tools from Podder, Chartable, Podsights, and Podcorn.

About your host

Profile picture for Tony Franklin

Tony Franklin

Tony Franklin, the esteemed host of "TonyTidbit: A Black Executive Perspective," is a dynamic and insightful leader with over 30 years of experience navigating the complexities of corporate America. With a career marked by leadership roles across various industries, Tony brings a wealth of knowledge and a unique perspective to the podcast. His journey is one of resilience, determination, and an unwavering commitment to driving diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) in the workplace.

A passionate advocate for change, Tony initiated the groundbreaking "Conversations about Race" series in his workplace following the social unrest of 2020. This series laid the foundation for the podcast, offering a platform for open, honest discussions about race and the Black executive experience in corporate America. Through his engaging conversations with guests, Tony explores themes of adversity, exclusion, and implicit bias, while also highlighting the strategies that have helped break down racial barriers.

Tony's approachable style and depth of experience make him an influential voice in the DEI space. His dedication to fostering an inclusive environment is evident in each episode, where he provides actionable guidance for being a better advocate and ally. "TonyTidbit: A Black Executive Perspective" is not just a podcast; it's a movement towards a more equitable corporate landscape, led by Tony's visionary leadership and empathetic voice.